Selena Gomez covers the April 2017 issue of Vogue, the first time she’s the magazine’s cover star. In the accompanying interview, the singer-actress opens up about rehab, fame, and why Instagram is so not important. Check out highlights from the cover story and photos from the shoot below!
Selena On Being Honest With Fans: “People so badly wanted me to be authentic, and when that happened, finally, it was a huge release. I’m not different from what I put out there. I’ve been very vulnerable with my fans, and sometimes I say things I shouldn’t. But I have to be honest with them. I feel that’s a huge part of why I’m where I am.”
Selena On Canceling her Tour: “Tours are a really lonely place for me. My self-esteem was shot. I was depressed, anxious. I started to have panic attacks right before getting onstage, or right after leaving the stage. Basically I felt I wasn’t good enough, wasn’t capable. I felt I wasn’t giving my fans anything, and they could see it, which, I think, was a complete distortion. I was so used to performing for kids. At concerts I used to make the entire crowd raise up their pinkies and make a pinky promise never to allow anybody to make them feel that they weren’t good enough. Suddenly I have kids smoking and drinking at my shows, people in their 20s, 30s, and I’m looking into their eyes, and I don’t know what to say. I couldn’t say, ‘Everybody, let’s pinky-promise that you’re beautiful!’ It doesn’t work that way, and I know it because I’m dealing with the same shit they’re dealing with. What I wanted to say is that life is so stressful, and I get the desire to just escape it. But I wasn’t figuring my own stuff out, so I felt I had no wisdom to share. And so maybe I thought everybody out there was thinking, This is a waste of time.”
Selena On Going To Rehab For Psychiatric Treatment: “You have no idea how incredible it felt to just be with six girls, real people who couldn’t give two s**ts about who I was, who were fighting for their lives. It was one of the hardest things I’ve done, but it was the best thing I’ve done.”
Selena On Dialectical Behavior Therapy: “DBT has completely changed my life. I wish more people would talk about therapy. We girls, we’re taught to be almost too resilient, to be strong and sexy and cool and laid-back, the girl who’s down. We also need to feel allowed to fall apart.”
Selena On Interacting With Fans In Public: “Somebody I used to hang out with would always get very frustrated with me. But I have a hard time saying no to children.”
Selena On Moving Beyond Disney: “I worked with Disney for four years. It’s a very controlled machine. They know what they represent, and there was, 100 percent, a way to go about things… For a guy there’s a way to rebel that can work for you. But for a woman, that can backfire. It’s hard not to be a cliché, the child star gone wrong. I did respect my fans and what I had, but I was also figuring out what I was passionate about and how far I was willing to go.”
Selena On Life Changing In The Spotlight: I’m a late bloomer. I grew up around adults, but in terms of getting out, having friends. At times I really didn’t know anything but my job… My mom gave up her whole life for me. Where we’re from, you don’t really leave. So when I started gaining all this success, there was a guilt that came with it. I thought, Do I deserve this?”
Selena On Not Feeling Career Pressure Right Now: “For a change,” she says, “it feels like I don’t have to be holding my breath and waiting for somebody to judge a piece of work that I’m doing. I’m not eager to chase a moment. I don’t think there’s a moment for me to chase.”
Selena On Limiting Her Network, Privately And Publicly: “I think seventeen people have my phone number right now. Maybe two are famous… As soon as I became the most followed person on Instagram, I sort of freaked out. It had become so consuming to me. It’s what I woke up to and went to sleep to. I was an addict, and it felt like I was seeing things I didn’t want to see, like it was putting things in my head that I didn’t want to care about. I always end up feeling like shit when I look at Instagram. Which is why I’m kind of under the radar, ghosting it a bit… Look, I love what I do, and I’m aware of how lucky I am, but, how can I say this without sounding weird? I just really can’t wait for people to forget about me.”
The article notes Gomez declined to discuss her relationship with The Weeknd, with the writer saying, “She tells me that everything she has said about her relationships in the past has come back to bite her, and that she will never do it again.” The full issue of Vogue will hit newsstands on March 28.